Kieri (kieri) wrote in metaquotes,

Bored Tech Support Strikes Back

From wonderwombat:

No WMD found.

I entertained myself in 'training' (it deserves the quotation marks) today by creating a test case on the training server.

Customer's Name: George Bush
Issue: No WMD found.
Added hardware/software: WMD?
VC is getting an error message -- 'No WMD found.'
VC insists the WMD file is there.
Checked product specs -- WMD did not ship with this model.
VC insists he knows it is there.
Did a msconfig. No WMD in msconfig. The VC is impatient, and refuses to believe the list of start-up items.
Patiently explained to VC that although some forms of software are indeed annoying, I would not list any of them among the axis of evil.
VC wishes to take drastic action. Explained that installing another OS on the computer in order to eradicate WMD and the system that created them would void his warranty.
VC is worried that the WMD (which is apparently there) will compromise the security of his network.
Explained to VC that I did not believe hitting the tower repeatedly with a hammer would help.
Explained patiently to VC that I did not believe replacing the harddrive would return peace and order to his computer, and that I believe he had insufficient technological knowledge for what he proposed.
Sending VC a set of recovery CDs.

(Sadly, this is not all that far off some of my actual calls.)
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