"...hang on, there's a noise in the basement. Either Yin-Yang is knocking over coffins, or I've missed a fangirl.
...back now. It was a fangirl, as I suspected. And she was filling my coffin with...things. Various rubber phallic instruments--some with buttons on them--and tubes of a substance I'm not familiar with. Whatever it is, it's cherry-flavored. It smells nice, anyway...is it some sort of bath gel?"
People should go read this journal...it's priceless!