Oreph (hisgreyeyes) wrote in metaquotes,

Last night while pissing I noticed that I'd been wearing my hideous Victoria's Secret hot pink reindeer underwear with the tag still attached inside. This made me think of two things: first, while still pissing, I realized that my ass fat has apparently grown NUMB to intruders, as the tag was geographically in the region of my ass crack, and therefore I am in danger of having ass sex and not knowing it; and secondly, later, lying in bed, I imagining someone breaking in and stabbing me in the hip, and if I went to the hospital they might see the tag still attached to my panties and think I STOLE THEM!

I was really concerned.

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