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LJ's Catch of the Day- Served Fresh Daily!!

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and we pay money for this "fun"...
safe sex, bad puns
supremegoddess1 wrote in metaquotes
slammerkinbabe is not having much luck with her new Sims game:

So if you want to get your child into private school in the Sims, and you invite the headmaster over for a dinner party, do not spend three days studying cuisine in order to learn to cook a top-notch meal, and then forget to order groceries, so that there is nothing in the house to eat.

And if you do do this, don't repeatedly try to send your Sim to make a meal, and get incredibly frustrated when he won't because why is he so stubborn, and only catch on to the fact that there are no groceries when the game itself takes pity on you and reminds you.

And if you then put in an emergency order for groceries, and start trying to make salmon with 45 minutes left in the dinner party, don't set the kitchen on fire.

And if you do, don't wonder wildly why the fire alarm is not working, and then realize that you accidentally installed two burglar alarms and no fire alarm.

And if you do do all of this, and you have a pregnant Sim in the house, don't miscalculate her delivery date and only realize it when she goes into labor in the middle of the fire.

And if you do miscalculate her delivery date and she goes into labor in the middle of the fire, don't have her give birth to twins, not that there was much I could do about that at that stage.

And if all of this happens and there are six minutes left in the party, and your mother-Sim has just disgorged twins onto the kitchen floor, and your father-Sim has just managed to extinguish the fire, leaving him exhausted and trailing clouds of green stink everywhere, and the headmaster is on his way out the door, don't make a last pathetic stab at rescuing the situation by pulling a bowl of mac and cheese out of your inventory and seeing if he will eat it. He won't.

If you do all of these things, the headmaster will determine that you are not the sort of family that should be associated with his fine institution (he'll say it just like that), and your child will not get into private school. Hard on the child, especially if he is a musical prodigy and if he has been studying quietly in his room, in formalwear, through the whole debacle.

Oh well. Twins!

ETA: AND A SPECIAL NOTE OF CAUTION FOR ALL SIM-FATHERS IN THE AUDIENCE: DON'T LEAVE THE SALMON IN THE OVEN UNTIL IT ROTS BLACK AND IS COVERED WITH FLIES, AND IF YOU DO, DON'T TRY TO EAT IT ONCE YOU TAKE IT OUT. YOU WILL GET SICK WITH FOOD POISONING AND MAYBE DIE. BECAUSE YOU ARE EATING ROTTEN FISH. AND FLIES.

JESUS CHRIST SIMS WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME.

I knew I should have given that dude some logic points somewhere along the line.


QWP, Context makes puddles on the floor if you don't pay attention to the bladder meter.

I've learned that if fixing the stereo gets you electrocuted, don't try to fix the thing five minutes later, it will happen again and you will die. And then death goes into a room that no can access (it's a room made for the stairs) so your Sim is pretty much screwed.

There's an html error in your post.

That was a good post, though. :D

Yup. OP missed a " in the html for the link at the bottom. But seriously, why I never got into playing Sims (other than the cities) I will never know.

lol Oh sims 2 I miss you.

Hehe - I can just see all that happening. Sims are awesome. ^_^

Off topic, but that icon makes me think of Bakura from YGO meeting Sakura of Naruto.

I MUST GET SIMS THREE. I MUST I MUST I MUST!!!!

Yes, you must! But this metaquote is about The Sims 2. :)

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Y hello thar, icon twin! :D

This is hysterical.

I need to remember where I left that disc now. Itching to plaaaay...!

D: This makes me want to play Sims again.

I left off with a pregnant character. I hate it when she's pregnant. She's so damn hard to take care of. She and her hubby already have twin children, and I'm just hoping this one isn't twins. That's assuming I can get her through it without her dying. Again. (Yay for not saving the game after character death!)

She keeps falling asleep in her damn food.

Aaagh not saving the game after character death. A character that I genuinely wanted to be happy (which is rare for me) died at the stove, so I quit without saving...now every time her girlfriend interacts with her I get chills. (Do you know she's supposed to be dead? Do you know you're dating a near-zombie? Does _she_ know she's supposed to be dead?) Urrbrngbr.

...Falling asleep in her food? O.o

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Been there. Done that. :/

I needed this. I am wheezing gently in silent appreciation (it's very late, guffawing is out).

Ah, the Sims brings me so much joy.


And ulcers.

I have a Sim of Jafar. His aspiration is Fortune.

Apparently, when Fortune Sims go into aspiration failure, they do something far more obnoxious than Knowledge Sims' reasonably innocuous action of Learning From Prof. Von Ball.

They go outside to panhandle.

In Jafar's case, he went outside to panhandle while he had a toaster pastry in the oven.

Jafar's aspiration failure nearly burnt down the kitchen of 40 Via Veronaville. Snape and Vetinari were quite annoyed with him.

This just sounds so hilarious, I can't stop laughing XD

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Um. If you go into buy mode, and sell the fridge, and buy a new one? It will be fully stocked with groceries.

This has saved me BILLIONS of times.

Can't help you on the rest, though. :P

There's also a hacked fridge that restocks itself each day out there. I haven't ordered groceries in FOREVER thanks to that sucker.

Sometimes I wonder if this is what God is thinking about us...