sciffy_circo (sciffy_circo) wrote in metaquotes,
sciffy_circo
sciffy_circo
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Google will take over the world

cuprohastes explains how Google will take over the world.

I'm waiting for the day when Google casually mentions they bought out some little Linux company and now have a netbook OS. It's just a kernel, a whole bunch of network drivers. It boots into Chrome and uses XML to do all the file management, media playback etc. and runs Google Gears so you can slorp down all your e-mail and shit and take it off line.

It'll fit into 250mb, run like lighting and make Ubuntu cry as it eats Ubuntu’s entire market share by 2.0… It'll get to version 15.0 before they drop the Beta tag, and will get ported to every device with a screen, including the 2 line LCD on your old VCR.

Verizon and Comcast both panic because everyone is suddenly using a fuckton of bandwidth and cap everyone at ridiculously low limits. Google buys them both. By 2015, Apple and Microsoft's only way to sell anything is to mark it "Works with Google". MS and Apple band together to sue Google for being anti-competitive and having a monopoly. They send 32 lawyers.

Google sends one guy in sneakers and a t-shirt. His entire argument is "It's all open source, we only make money on adverts when people search". The Judge takes fifteen minutes to stop laughing.

Civilisation as we know it ends in 2020 as the entire world implodes into a multi-cultural, multi-lingual agrarian society where everyone spends 8 hours a day growing food and molesting livestock, while chatting to everyone else via Google Grand Central's party line using little wearable computers running Android Anywhere apps. A new golden age of peace, better health, and sunburn is issued in, then we all die of some nasty virus, which would have killed us anyway, but everyone's way more mellow about it.


Context is open source.
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