Amelia (padparadscha) wrote in metaquotes,
Amelia
padparadscha
metaquotes

sunshine_shaman has some observations about her new job:

4. My new hobby is the Deli Slicer. I was given the task of preparing the lettuce and tomatoes for the sandwiches, and after the initial fear of chopping off a finger passed, I became a force that could not be stopped. Lettuce ran for its life when it saw me coming. No tomato was safe from my round blade of death. I lusted to see the tomato juice splash on the cold steel of spinning doom. I longed to see the leaves of lettuce torn asunder and ripped in twain by my destructive power. All the while, my boss had to deal with me crying out periodically, "I AM GOD OF THE VEGETABLES! FEAR ME!"

5. Lettuce is like the herpes of sandwich makings. While making the sandwiches, it gets all over the table, in the other bowls of veggies and sandwich makings, and it sticks to anything and everything. There is no way of avoiding lettuce, and there is no cure.

Context FUCKING LOVES SANDWICHES!!!
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