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Examples of what not to do at goth night
zoe laughing
tikvah wrote in metaquotes
The ever-hilarious felisdemens describes idiots who recently gave object lessons about what not to do at goth night.

People I hated on Saturday:

Again, the glassy-eyed dick-limpets that stand planted like a monolith in the middle of the dance floor and do not dance. Some are there to have a conversation, which makes their choice of location so unutterably stupid as to require immediate euthanasia. Some are texting/taking pictures. I have decided that this is clearly an invitation for me to slap the fucking phone out of their hands and stomp on it. Get off the fucking dance floor if you simply must Tweet to all your erstwhile "friends" about all the fun you'd be having if you weren't fucking around with your goddamned phone. I do not care what you do as long as you are not impeding everyone else's ability to dance. GO NOW IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.

Context is public and QWP, and is as hilariously and obscenely informative as the brief extract posted behind the cut.

As an ex-hockey player, I always found a nicely placed hip check took care of the middle-of-the-dance-floor-and-oblivious.

...WIN. Especially if the hip-checker is a woman with deadly levels of hip. I would see that action and be like, 'O GODDESS MAY I WORSHIP THE GROUND YOU WALK ON PLEASE?'

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This kind of things always gets me. How on earth can you be twittering/blogging/texting about what an AWSUM TYME you're having when you're twittering/blogging/texting the whole time? Shouldn't you be, y'know...just plain 'ol having fun?

Sorry, I'll go sit over here in my rocking chair. *gets out knitting*

It's just like everyone in my parents' crowd who spent so much time videotaping their vacations that they never actually saw Florida or Hawaii or whatever outside the viewfinder. ;)

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That's when the rivethead shuffle comes in nicely.

Personally, I think the rest of the context is even more hilarious. This line did it for me:
WOMAN. No one came here to see your birth canal.


We had to use semaphore flags in the nightclubs when I was a girl.

That made me laugh so damm hard. NEW WORD: Catbag.

Love it. Thanks for the post.

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Context is outstanding, and makes me glad I'm home in the evenings.

I like going barefoot, but in a club? omgDONOTWANT

EDIT: Puncuation is your friend!

Edited at 2009-04-01 01:07 pm (UTC)

Aw man. That's pretty much a list of my clubbing pet hates.

Mind you I have done the barefoot one. To be fair though, it was because the heel of my shoe broke earlier in the evening, & it was in a city at least an hour away from home (& no way was I going to be a jerk & get the guy who gave me a lift to just drop everything & go home early). The soles of my feet are pretty tough though, & I was sensible enough to minimise 'feet being crushed by Stompy Boots' potential (sitting in a spot right by the dancefloor, & dancing in an area of dancefloor that wasn't so packed, watching where I was putting my feet, etc).

Context has beautiful use of language. I shall be adding the word "Shitweasel" to my profane vocabulary.

"Titmeats" will also be added, though only on special occasions.

Dance floor is for DANCING people. Some people are just to dumb to live, right?

The last line made me think: I pity the party that facilitated Ahnold's gothy coming out.


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