These are weird books – incredibly fucking weird. They’re not even romance. I’ve read some silly, overwrought romances in my time but none quite as hectic and face-clawing as the Twilight Series. Romance doesn’t cover it. It’s more like love-porn, you know? When you’re writing porn you’ve got to linger over every sweat drop, every grind and groan – put the reader right in the scene. This is the same, only censored from the nose down (Seriously, Bella doesn’t even get tongue when she kisses Mr. Frosty.) with every shudder, shiver, sob and shitfit of ~*~True Love~*~ amped up to insane and ridiculous proportions. Bella experiences actual physical pain when Edward dumps her, which in itself is not uncommon – but for months? She spends four months in a catatonic state and presumably can’t even take herself to the bathroom. And when she starts fucking moving and talking again her father suggests she ‘see someone’.
Look, Dad – she’s been sitting in a puddle of her own piss, drool and tears for FOUR MONTHS. I’d suggest that maybe the time for psychiatric intervention has been and gone.