Peter C. Hayward (peterchayward) wrote in metaquotes,
Peter C. Hayward

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Things learned from network TV.

Today's gem is from shanex (the man behind Casey and Andy, for those playing at home.)

Things I have learned from watching network television:

All women are stunningly implausibly beautiful.

All priests are pedophiles.

All smokers die of lung cancer.

No terrorism is committed by Muslims. Sometimes it appears at first to be committed by Muslims, but it always turns out to be non-Islamic white people.

All homeless men are crippled Vietnam veterans who the government has failed to take care of. None of them are drug addicts or alcoholics.

All homeless women are noble single moms down on their luck, put in the predicament by a bad boyfriend or husband who stole their money and left. None of them are drug addicts or alcoholics.

All liberals are good, all conservatives are evil.

All professional women and experts in their field are in their early 20’s regardless of how long it would plausibly take to rise to that position.

Women find men 30 years older than them irresistibly attractive.

All elected legislators are perverts.

When people wake up in the morning, they are beautiful, their hair is in perfect shape, and their pajamas are still neatly pressed.

Doctors only ever have one patient at a time.

QWP, more at the original post. List your own network television observations in the comments!

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