The Bear Jew (oliveoyl) wrote in metaquotes,
The Bear Jew

The news today certainly looks bleak to a casual reader. But perhaps we can appreciate our relative fortune by imagining what headlines we could be seeing instead.

Army Black Hawk helicopter crashes into mountain of preschool children

Vengeful zombies emerge from Ground Zero, eat living

UN peacemaker troops ransack White House, Fort Knox, steal everything

Center for disease control accidentally breaks 400 test tubes on 8th Avenue

George Lucas revealed as director of Return of the King, Matrix III


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