Sir Squishington of Westminster (palmer_kun) wrote in metaquotes,
Sir Squishington of Westminster

In soviet Russia, Applecart upsets you!

Captain's Log. Stardate 11.13.08

Pika arrives in the galaxy known as "work" and notices a stray Mac has set up shop in her cubicle. Shields are raised, Pika switches to red alert, and the proper authorities are notified:

Dear IT Helpdesk:

I must alert you to a rather urgent and dire technological catastrophe. There is a Mac in my cubicle.

Norton, Avast, and various metaphysical cleansing rituals have failed to neutralize the threat. I fear this is far more serious than I thought. Please send help immediately. And by help, I mean a rather large sledgehammer.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this critical issue.

Tech Support

Captain's Log. Stardate 11.14.08

Pika arrives once again in the Work quadrant and finds a hostile alien force has invaded her cube.

The invading fleet's motives and affiliations were not clear at first, but further investigation revealed a dire fate for the indigenous Dell that had previously been inhabiting the territory.

Pika, not impressed with these shenanigans, promptly demanded an explanation for this bullshit.

These shenanigans, not impressed with Pika, promptly responded with the following:

Dear Pika,

Upon further investigation we have discovered that the exact location of your cube seems to be the perfect breeding ground for our Mac computers. They found their way there last night and took up shop. We apologize for the inconvenience, but please do not be surprised with any future occurrences.

Thank you for your continued cooperation and we encourage you to come to the Darkside as they may haunt you until you turn.


Your local Mac lover

Captain's Log. Stardate 11.14.08

Several other co-conspirators have since been identified, and they will be hunted and exterminated accordingly. The Klingon fleet has been summoned for backup, because today is indeed a good day for someone to die. We appear to be up against a formidable opponent, but I remain optimistic, as there isn't an Apple that can't be defeated with the assistance of a conveniently placed wormhole.

- - -

Context is QWiPpy, and temporarily unlocked to show off PICTURE GOODNESS.

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