But thanks to gonzo21 , I now understand what's going on:
UK Citizens: 'What for?'
Bank: 'Because I'm crap with money and I lost it all.'
UK Citizen: (reaching into pocket) 'Okay, how much do you think you need?'
Bank: 'Oh... About £500 Billion.'
UK Citizen: '£500 BILLION? What's in it for me?'
Bank: 'If you don't give us the money, we'll destroy your whole life and make sure that your childrens future is one of never-ending drudgery in the fields of serfdom trying desperately to scrape together just enough food to stay alive.'
UK Citzen: 'Okay, but if I give you £500 billion I want you to pay me back £800 billion and I want 20% of your shares, in preference, and I want to have a say in how you run your business.'
Bank: 'No we can't afford it, we're not doing that. Just give us the money.'
UK Citizen: 'What do you need £500 billion for anyway?'
Bank: 'So we can lend it back to you at interest.'
UK Citizen: 'So you want me to give you my money for no return just so you can lend it back to me with interest?'
Bank: 'Yup, that's how the system has always worked.'
UK Citizen: 'That's a scam! That's basically just robbery!'
Bank: 'Yeah we know but what you gonna do about it?'
UK Citizen: 'Okay, fine, here, take it. Just please don't destroy everything I own.'
Bank: 'Cool, thanks. Now to pay ourselves and our employees their bonuses... transfer some into offshore tax havens and, oops, it's all gone... Say, can we have some more please?'
UK Citizen: 'How can it all be gone?!'
Bank: 'Well we did tell you we were crap with money.'
blankbadge : Now rewrite is as slash!
gonzo21 : With 70s porno soundtrack. Chicka-bow-wow.
blankbadge : Well we've certainly been fucked.