Flewellyn (flewellyn) wrote in metaquotes,

Of all human ills, greatest is felines' wayward tyranny.

ginmar presents the Greek Tragedy of her hungry felines:

Chorus: Feed us!

Soloist: Feed me!

Chorus: Feed us! We are small and fluffy and starving!

Soloist: Hades is full of those such as you.

Chorus: Hades is full of the litterboxes of kittens who eat gargonzola cheese and Ex Lax.

Second Soloist: Ponder that image for a while, human.

First soloist: Ponder the immensity of fate.

Chorus: There is cheese in the fridge, we're just saying.

Chorus: And you don't want to know what happened to your lock picking kit.

Third soloist: I am pitiful and cute, feed me.

Fourth soloist: feed me first, for her digestive system is a veritable wind tunnel of digestion.

Chorus: Zeus himself fears the effluvia of kittens.

First soloist: Diana's hounds flinch before confronting them.

SEcond soloist: Feed me, for my stomach is temporarily empty and lo, I give voice to my pain!

Third soloist: Our dishes must be washed till they sparkle, and then we will play hockey with bits of succulent nourishment.

Fourth soloist: Don't hesitate, feed us. We have napping to do.

Chorus: WE having napping to do. On your bed. On your feet. On your face. We will purr. We will push you off the bed. You will love us, for we cast spells.

First soloist: feed me, for I will reject sustenance pitifully, with yearning looks at your breakfast. Feed me, so that I can walk away scornfully.

Second soloist: Feed me,I need strength to chase my tail.

Third soloist: Feed me, for I need to jump from place to place in order to make you nervous.

Fourth soloist: Feed me, for I will be pitiful and arouse your guilt.

Chorus: FEED US!

Protagonist: Gods above, Zeus, and all of you, help me this poor mortal!

Zeus: You're on your own, dude. I have to go get some more fancy feast.

Protagonist: The Gods themselves are powerless! Woe and tragedy.

Chorus: Humans, learn from the Gods! Bow down and worship!

Exeunt all

Quoted with blanket permission. Context asks, "Hey, you rip dese?"

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