INTERNET: *keeps dying* D:.
NEW ROUTER: Hey guys, it's NOT ME RLY. I just don't get access to the DSL connection ,my protocols, let me show you them.
khamura: *traipses to NetCologne shop with protocols*
NETCOLOGNE GUY #1: Sorry guys, our connection works actually perfectly and we can access your modem from here.
HOME, WHOLE LAST WEEK
khamura & Chili: *test splitter, modem, ALL cables involved, telephone, air temperature, Feng Shui*
NGC#1: This must be something in your house, sorry.
HOME, YESTERDAY EVENING
INTERNET: Hurrrrrrrrrrrrgh *dies for good*
HOME, THIS MORNING
INTERNET: *rots and attracts flies*
chili_das_schaf: *calls dad*
CHILI'S DAD: Yes, the landlord has to pay this in full.
khamura: *calls landlord*
chili_das_schaf: Please make sure that he doesn't send one of his "dudes" to fix the problem like he did with the electricity and the water...
khamura: NO. We'll get our own technician, I'll see if they have a recommendation.
NCG#2: I hate everyone.
khamura: ... where is NGC#1?
NCG#2: I killed and ate him. What the hell is your problem?
khamura: You see, our internet is dead bec-
NCG #2: I'm surrounded by idiots, you must be one of them, I don't believe anything you say. I bet it's because you plugged something wrong or poured coffee over it. Get me all your hardware so I can show you how inept you are.
khamura: .... *goes home to get all hardware and chili_das_schaf for moral support*
NCG#2: Huh. Here it all works fine.
NCG#2: It's the cable,
K&C: No it's not.
NCG#2: It's always the cable. And if it's not, please reassemble the telephone socket. It's easier than it looks like.Bye.
CABLE: No problem here.
K&C: ... *unscrew telephone socket and fidget around with cables*
khamura: That was really easier than it looks like.
NCG #2: I told you so.
khamura: But it's apparently not the problem.
NCG#2: ... well crap. *calls technical hotline*
TECHNICAL HOTLINE: It's their landlord's responsibility.
K&C: WHAT ELSE IS NEW.
NCG#2: Uh. Sorry, I actually can be really friendly when I see that not all customers are idiots.
K&C: We just don't want him to send one of his "dudes"!
NCG#2: Oh, is he one of THOSE? That explains a lot. Probably the lines are fixed with bubblegum.
K&C: *share sad landlord stories*
NCG#2: Listen, replace the telephone socket on your own. As I said, it's not hard. If that doesn't work, call this technician, he's good. And give me a hug?
K&C: No. Thanks anyway.
DSL: HAY GUYS I MISSED U SO MUCH.