just jen (jenoofer) wrote in metaquotes,
just jen
jenoofer
metaquotes

ginalin has solved the world's economic crisis in one LJ post:

1.) Stop all defense spending. Don't buy anymore planes, bombs, rifles, bullets, tanks, combat boots or helmets. Who exactly do we need to defend ourselves from? Canada only wants to give us hockey and we need the labor force from Mexico because no one wants those jobs anyway. And what are the Iranians going to do? Get 500 really strong guys together and physically hurl a missile at us? I think we got this defense thing covered. All it'd really take is some idiot threatening to blow up something in Texas. I guarantee, there are more guns privately owned in Texas than the whole US army has. I think we can defend ourselves if we ever get invaded.

2.) Let's do away with the House of Representatives and let each state only have one senator. Make that senator buy his own plane, house, car and pay into his own health plan and retirement fund. That alone would save the taxpayers a kajillion bucks.

3.) We need to start taxing celebrities who brag about having sex with thousands of people. Every time they claim to boink someone, they need to get charged 50 bucks. If they claim to have boinked another famous person, charge them double. Hell, between Gene Simmons and Wilt Chamberlain, we could get a good start on paying off the national debt. And we have to hear a lot less bragging in public too. Oh, and charge them double every time they forgot to use a condom.

4.) Give nature back to the animals. We spend a lot of money every year making parks and preserves human friendly so we can go gawk at wild animals who would rather we just go away. If someone wants to go gawk at wild animals, go to a zoo. If you want to camp out that badly, accept the fact that you might get eaten by a wild animal, just like our ancestors did. That's what nature is really all about, and you should have access to the whole experience.

5.) Anyone who is excessively annoying while trying to sell you something on TV should have to pay an large fee to the government.

6.) Tax anyone 50 bucks who does anyone of the following annoying things in public:

1.) talks on a cellphone while in line, thereby holding up the whole line
2.) tries to force a political or religious pamphlet on you (If you actually want one, that's different, but there shouldn't be any forcing.)
3.) talks excessively during a movie in a theater, especially when it's not about the movie
4.) anyone who partially undresses in public to show you their surgery scars when you don't know them and don't care
5.) anyone who comes to your door selling something when you state explicitly that you don't need it. (I once had a guy try to sell me a carpet cleaner when I had only wood floors in my house. Me telling him that didn't stop him from giving me the whole sales pitch.)
6.) telemarketers who call during dinner or on weekends should not only be taxed, but be made to pay to retrain for a real job.

Context is economical and fun.
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