"Today the air is thick as oatmeal and the only better place to be than indoors is near the Mendocino fires since they grow so much pot up there a forest fire is like get high for free week.
I’m off to buy a gas mask. Hope they come in pink. And I think I’ll get a map of Mendocino county and become a volunteer fire fighter."
Context is also stocking up on Doritos, Oreos, and Twinkies.