J♦ (fax_celestis) wrote in metaquotes,
J♦
fax_celestis
metaquotes

chaosvizier Finds A Bug:

One summer night, after a hard day's work and some working out, I came home exhausted and just went straight for the bed, do not pass go, do not collect $200. It was hot and humid, and thus my bed clothing was minimal. It didn't take long for my tired body to relax and fade away into that halfway stage between consciousness and sleep, where you're still aware but not really connected to reality by anything remotely solid. At this point, the brain is a multifaceted entity unto itself, and I think the following conversation ensued.

TACTILE ANALYSIS BRAIN: Ow. I have an itch. On my butt.
CPU BRAIN: What should we do about it?
BODY: STFU guys, I'm really into bypassing REM and going directly into coma mode.
MOTOR SKILLS BRAIN: Send out the right arm. Basic up-down scratching motions.
MUSCULAR SYSTEM: Copy that. Deploying calories. Activating right arm. All systems go.
TACTILE ANALYSIS BRAIN: Ah, there we go... felt like there was something there, like a feather from a pillow. *Scratch, scratch* Say, that felt pretty good. Oh yeah. *pause* Hmmm. I hate to be a bother, guys, but I believe the scratchy spot is moving.
CPU BRAIN: WTF?
BODY: WTF?
MOTOR SKILLS BRAIN: WTF?
MUSCULAR SYSTEM: WTF?
ANIMAL INSTINCT BRAIN: I sound the alarm! AWWWWOOOOOOOGAAAAA! Adrenaline flush is a go!
BODY: EEEEYYYAAAAAAAGGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!

Forget REM sleep. Forget semi-consciousness. With the sudden and absolute realization that there was a living creature crawling around INSIDE MY UNDIES, I went from Clark Kent to OMGWTFperman in the blink of an eye.


CONTEXT: WTF? There's more?!
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