anandrine: Jesus hated everyone, for serious.
celtic_thistle: Jesus said to hate everyone.
anandrine: All of this stuff about him being peaceful and loving and forgiving was just a smear to tarnish his hardcore hateful reputation.
celtic_thistle: Jesus had assault rifles and regularly shot those peace-loving liberal pussies.
anandrine: He camped out with the Minutemen sometimes.
celtic_thistle: He spoke 'Merican English and had blond hair and blue eyes.
anandrine: He was a good hard-working white dude. None of that wishy-washy wandering around being touchy-feely stuff. And he never got a tan despite being outside a lot. That's half the magic of Jesus.
celtic_thistle: And he never, ever cried, and he NEVER loved another man. But he didn't love Mary Magdalene either because she was a nasty ho.
anandrine: Jesus totally would've slept with a whole bunch of ladies, however, if he wasn't focused on bigger things, because that's what men do. And Jesus was a man's man. Not in the gay way.
celtic_thistle: Seriously. He could have gotten all the pussy he wanted, but he was too pure and manly for that. Real men don't need women. Women are just here to bring us down and make us bad, bro. He was a total bad-ass motherfucker and America is a TOTALLY Christ-like, holy nation and Jesus would want us to kill all those towel-head bastards because he was white and the brown people killed him. Trufax.
Context knows that peace and unity are OMG confusing!