So yesterday I was enjoying a book, secure in the knowledge that our house is baby proof, and completely gated. Imagine my surprise when I realized the quiet sounds of Dreighton playing, sounded like Dreighton playing quietly with pots and pans. I laid down my book and listened carefully...yes...those were definately the sounds of kitchenware.
I walk over to the kitchen filled with apprehension, and wondering how in the hell he managed to get through the gates. Both gates are still locked, however in the middle of the kitchen is Dreighton. The monster is currently bent over something on the floor, upon hearing me he jumps in fright, faces me, and puts his hands behind his back.
Thats when I notice it. Dreightons pride filled face slowly drops as he watches my face. Unrecognizable emotions fill me and threaten to break out, in tears, hysterical laughter, or perhaps screaming. He regards me the way you would a crazy person, someone who you suspect might leap out and tear your throat out any second.
He is trying to reason with me. Poor thing, you can't reason with an irrational mama.
Mama.....cook....me cook...me cook cake...
There is pleading in his face as I gape at the two cartons worth of organic eggs that have been (oh so quietly) smashed across the kitchen floor, at every single pot and pan from the drawers scattered across the counter top, each filled with a cracked egg, at the cereal spilled across the floor, mixed in with expensive eggy mash.
I regard the mess, and suddenly realize that raw eggs can cause salmonella poisoning, and that he is coverd in it. I quietly pick him up, carry him to the tub, strip him naked, fill up the tub, then leave the room and sink outside the door, laughing while I cry.
The terrible twos only last a year...right? RIGHT???
locked post, qwp