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Chowyunsmut used to tip for pizza delivery with DVD's of the adult varietal....
ubiquitous_a wrote in metaquotes

I called the pizza place, card in hand, and the guy who answered the phone recognized my address.

Him: Aren't you the house that...well...y'know...tips with...um...porn?
Me: Yup! We sure are!
Him: Oh cool! So, um...how come you have all of this porn to give away?
Me: Well, because I write reviews of the movies for a couple of different magazines, and once I've seen 'em, I don't need 'em any more and the mags don't want them back.
Him: Oh wow. Really? So that's cool. Um...you have, like, all kinds?
Me: Totally. Interracial, all-girl, solo, fetish - you name it, I've probably got it here.
Him: Even...um...(stammering for indeterminate amount of time, then whispering) stuff that's not boys and girls?
Me: Oh! Um, I don't have any all-male stuff, but I definitely have tranny movies. A few of 'em, I think.

Dude, it was like I told him that there really WAS a Santa Claus.

QWP, Context may not be worksafe and wonders what's in *your* stocking!

I wonder what it says about me that my reaction was, "Aw! That's the sweetest story I've heard all day!" :)

That was such a sick and twisted brand of absolutely touching.

...wait, so is your icon all about Ron looking at Hermione's chest?

(Not meant to be snarky, but it looks like one of those "aw, pretty" icons, only there's - well, pretty blatant chest staring.)

And thus I have chosen my path in life.

Holy shit, I feel like I haven't seen you around in ages. :(

I now have a new career delivering pizza.

D'awww. I'm imagining a guy all puppy-eyed.

Oh my god, that has got to be one of the best stories I have ever heard. Needless to say, I LOLed. XDD

I'm stealing your icon. Xd

This might be the greatest thing I've ever read in the history of ever.

Your icon is up there, too.

Though much love for the OP, to be sure.

I actually have a friend whose boyfriend was a pizza delivery guy, and he was tipped with a pit bull puppy once.

Well, porn is definitely less maintenance. :-)

Awesome quote!

And icon love <3

Where is this pizza place, and how often does this guy order from them? I found my new calling in life.

Somewhere in New Haven, and Chowynsmut moved out here to CA a couple of years ago.

How do I get that job? I want to watch porn for a living!

You could become a vice cop. My born-again ex-brother in law HAS to spend all day watching porn to make sure it complies with AL state law. I'm not sure whether his boss loves him or hates him.

Aww, how sweet. The guy sounds like he thought it was Christmas coming early or something.

Somewhere, some drummer just did a rimshot at a very inappropriate time.

And he has no idea why.