set bloggles to stun (elizaeffect) wrote in metaquotes,
set bloggles to stun
elizaeffect
metaquotes

sammka and weis206 start the ball rolling...

Me: "Barack Obama is essentially raffling off dinner with himself, apparently"
Mike: Ooh, that sounds nice. As a fundraiser for his campaign, I assume?
Me: yeah, sort of.
anyone who donates to the campaign between now and Monday gets a chance to get dinner with him
(only 4 people win)
(this vaguely reminds me of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)
Mike: (Hee.)
(And whoever survives the dinner is his running mate.)

In comments, arctangent takes it the rest of the way:

Posit: Hillary Clinton meets with each of the raffle winners just before the dinner, offering them $10 million if any of them can retrieve a recording of Barack Obama saying "By the way, I really am a Muslim, and I do plan to blow up America in the name of the radical jihad" from the after-dinner conversation.

All of them manage to record him saying this, but the last remaining raffle winner tearfully returns the recording to Obama before he leaves, even after Obama has kicked him out of the Obama campaign forever after drinking Obama's secret Obama beer and floating to the top of the ceiling, damaging Obama's skylight and dirtying Obama's ceiling.

At this point it is, of course, revealed that Hillary Clinton is actually an employee of Barack Obama named Mr. Wilkinson, and that the entire 2008 Democratic Primary has been a Secret Test of Character for Obama to find a worthy Vice President.

Cue credits as Obama and his new best friend board the Platform of Change and it goes soaring off into the sky.

This will be followed by a sequel that nobody reads in which the crew of the Platform of Change does battle with evil Republican space monsters, gelatinous cone-shaped beings whose only weakness is that they burn up in oxygen. The climax comes when they have to rescue the new VP's grandmother from the clutches of John McCain. (The grandmother, you see, overdoses on a youth potion, making her several hundred years younger than her original age -- thus giving her *negative age*, turning her into a Minus and trapping her soul in the Minus World, where John McCain is 47.)

QWP. Context is chugging Fizzy Lifting Drinks and watching the polls.
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