Most of you have heard the catchy little saying "Every time you masturbate God kills a kitten," but have you really thought about it? There are huge numbers of kittens around, and more arriving daily. Shelters are full. And that's _with_ God killing a kitten every time we masturbate? I don't think we're all masturbating enough. I mean, I have to admit that I'm responsible for God smiting a fair number of kittens, but if we don't all do more we'll be overrun! The kittens will be everywhere...sure they're cute and all, but will they still be cute when they're running the show.
Go on people. Do your part. Get masturbating before kittens rule the world.