guardians_song (guardians_song) wrote in metaquotes,

"Dear Sir/Madame/Friend/Significant Other/Family Member:
We are taking this opportunity to request that you closely monitor the activities
of the individual named below on May 27th, 2008.

On the above date, Laurell K. Hamilton will be releasing her
new book Blood Noir. If you see ____________ (insert name here)
reading this book, please contact your emergency medical physician as
soon as possible. Prolonged exposure to Blood Noir may result in (but is not
limited to): Seizure, Heart Failure, Liquefaction of the Frontal and Occipital
Lobe, Paralysis, Black Lung, Constipation, Depression, Vanilla Scented Skin,
Doom Crotch, Attraction to Animals, Narcissism, Rain Making.

Due to both the release of the first chapter and the unexpected change in date of
publication, we anticipate a shortage of Brain BleachTM.

May God have mercy on us all,

Context is concerned for the health of readers..
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