Oh god, American Idol.
Lots of people question why I watch such a ridiculous show, given how generally snobbish and picky I am about television to begin with. Tonight answered all such questions. It was a lolgasm from start to finish. Listening to a bunch of primped-up karaoke champs butcher Beatles songs while drunken and/or insane music has-beens try to find something nice to say= A++++, would def. watch again.
Seriously, all but about two performances were actually painfully awful, and the remaining two were merely dull. The dreadlocked kid who looks like a Whitley Streiber alien sounded like he was picking octaves at random out of a bag. KKKristy sounded, appropriately, like a hoe-down number at a Nazi jamboree. Who knew there could be a worse idea for a cover song than Dolly Parton's "Stairway to Heaven"? Monchhichi the Golden Child sounded lost, confused, and scared, and Gay Stripper was far too busy trying to pass for butch to, y'know, actually bother paying attention to what he was singing. All he needed was a clapping sealion and he could be doing performances at 3:00, 3:30, 4:00, and 5:00, with a break at 4:30 to feed the dolphins. The Bride of Frankenstein a) looked like Rachael Ray on acid this week and b) decided to play the Cyndi Lauper "When U Were Mine" pronoun game … can't wait to see how that goes over. Simon Cowell and Ryan Theacretht continued their "you're a fag", "no, you're a fag" banter, which is like watching a flame war where everyone loses but the casual bystander.
In short: we, as a society, may not get to watch Christians being fed to lions, but we get American Idol, which is a fair substitute in my book.
QWP, Context is a bit pitchy, dawg!