A future news post:
Dear LJ community
We have been working hard lately on improving things in general. We thought we would update you on our latest achievements. In the last 6 months we have:
*paid off all members' student loans
*ended world hunger
We will continue working hard at building a better future
Commenter 1 : FIRST!
Response to Comment 1: Yay!
Commenter 2: In b4 wank!!!!
Commenter 3: Fuck you LJ! You suck! I'm never trusting you again!
Commenter 4: [picture of macro]
Commenter 5: What about more icons?
Response to Comment 5: yeah, and how will this affect paid accounts?
Commenter 6: HOW DARE YOU CURE CANCER BEFORE ADDRESSING MEMBER CONCERNS ABOUT BASIC ACCOUNTS!!!!!!
Commenter 7: I'm just here for the lulz.
Commenter 8: That's not fair to those of us who have a different disease like Asperger's, and don't have student loans but might have mortgages and THOSE OF US WHO HAVE TO PAY FOR GROCERIES!!!!!! I want internet justice!
and it will just go on from there......