ubiquitous_a (ubiquitous_a) wrote in metaquotes,

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mistful had difficulties with her web hosting service and flees to Brussels in search of solace:

 mistful had difficulties with her web hosting service and flees to Brussels in search of solace:

Particularly when I tried to change web hosts (hosts? Don't ask me, apparently they are necessary but the word makes me think of Alien) and all seemed to go according to plan.

Then suddenly my website disappeared. 'We don't have it,' said Web Host #1. 'We might have left it in our other pants,' said Web Host #2. '... Hey, is this yours?' asked Random Mystery Web Host #3.

I believe at this point I had to retire to my fainting couch. 

Of course it happened the very week that for a Secret Reason I hope I will be able to tell you guys soon, it was very important that I have a website up. Cue many panicked phone calls to America begging them to release my website unharmed.

WEBSITE KIDNAPPERS: Wait, it takes a while for the seeds to propagate.
SARAH: The seeds to... oh God, this is just like Alien, I knew it!
WEBSITE KIDNAPPERS: What you have to do is-
SARAH: Pay you anything you ask. Give up my country's secret codes. Sacrifice the white goat!

The host situation was resolved, thankfully without human sacrifice or having to defend our world from savage alien attack. For now what I have up is this new splash page, which has a Graveyard Picture and a little more about the book, but soon there will be a real website! </a></font></b></a>theoblack has been showing me very awesome things, and I am much excited.

I was however somewhat crazed as a result of this drama, and decided to go to Brussels to visit the Best Friend for a rest cure.

SARAH: O I am so glad to be here. Now to spend the weekend pallidly decorating your sofa.
CHIARA: Put on your sparkly party dress, we're going dancing!
SARAH: Well - I do like dancing.
CHIARA: Have this stroopwaffel to give you energy.
SARAH: ... Stroopwaffel. (experimentally) Stroopwaffel, stroopwaffel, stroopwaffel...
CHIARA (patiently): It's a sort of pressed waffle honey caramel cinnamon vanilla biscuit thing.
SARAH: It is the new love of my life.

Brussels passed by in a whirl of dancing, parties, shopping, meeting people from college in Irish bars, writing and eating cream swans in Belgian cafes, and speaking my own particular language. You see, I understand French perfectly well, but my idiot brain just turns on to Foreign, and thus I often happily chat to people in a mixture of French and Irish.

Of course the Belgian people all think I am speaking in tongues and pat my demented head.

Things I Learned About Belgium On My Holidays:

1. New York has the Statue of Liberty. Brussels has the Manneken Pis - a statue of a little boy peeing. Possibly this has to do with an infant lord who peed on enemy troops from a tree. Possibly it has to do with a little boy who peed on the fuse of an explosive and saved his city. Possibly it has to do with a merchant's son, lost and then found peeing on a street, which caused the merchant to put up a statue to mark his gratitude, which probably caused a lot of fights between father and son in later life. The Most Embarrassing Parent in the World is a tough and competitive game, but I think we may have found a winner here.

Memo to all Belgians: I do not mean to disrespect your noble and ancient culture. I think all the stories are very cool! I am sorry for laughing so hard!

2. Belgium has over 2, 000 chocolate shops in it. I think Brussels must have at least 500, and I think I went into all of them. I just wanted to buy some Easter gifts! I did not know that at every shop, they would offer me a tray of sample chocolates. I did not know how very ill I would soon feel.

SARAH: Please... no more... can't take it. Will tell you anything you want to know!
CHOCOLATE SHOP #346: Biscuit?
SARAH: Oh biscuit! Oh yes please, I love biscuit! Mmm, bis-
CHOCOLATE SHOP #346: With tasty chocolate filling!
SARAH: ... ohdear.
CHIARA: Are you all right?
SARAH: Fine, fine. Just experiencing a new and different take on Death By Chocolate. Not to worry.

3. Belgium celebrates International Women's Day by having sales in half the shops! On one hand, you know, Belgium, not every woman likes to shop, let's not perpetrate stereotypes here, and yet - I do like to shop. Chiara and I went into a frenzy of pretty thing acquisition.

I also bought new shoes with swirly patterns on them. I loved them. I loved them so much that I insisted on wearing them that day, in stockings, over cobblestones. Of course it only took a half hour before they started hurting me almost as much as the chocolate had earlier.

CHIARA: C'mon. I am wearing proper socks. Let's switch shoes before we get to the party.
SARAH: No! You are too noble. I would never let a friend suffer for my fault.
CHIARA: Hand them over this minute, silly wench.
SARAH: Never, never, I will never be vanquished-
CHIARA: Give them here! Don't argue! A plague on both your high heels!

A nice middle-aged Belgian couple passed by as the wrestling match on the cobblestones took place and shook their heads, slowly and sadly, at today's youth. Loose morals. Rock'n'roll. Shoe fights in public arenas. Where will it end?

I tottered home and almost immediately out to a champagne lunch with my friend Las, who just got accepted to Oxford! (Diplomacy in Brussels, scholarly brilliance in Oxford. It's clear I need less awesome friends so they don't show me up so much.)

Once I was actually home...

DURHAM LASS: Welcome back, Sarah!
SARAH: *slow blink*
DURHAM LASS: Did you enjoy your rest cure? Did you have a lovely relaxing time?
SARAH: ... Stroopwaffel?

QWP, Context has a tasty biscuit chocolate filling
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