Lonnie is outta sight...she's alright (modernlove_89) wrote in metaquotes,
Lonnie is outta sight...she's alright
modernlove_89
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Over in fanficrants, a post by nederlandergirl, talking about horrible writing. I present to you, The Ten Commandments of Fanfiction

I.I am the Lord your Mod. You shall have no other mods but me.
II. Thou shalt honour thy English language to keep it holy. Thou shalt not butcher thy punctuation or grammar, for fear of being smitten by Mod.
III. Thou shalt not replace "you're" with "your," and thou shalt remember that "a lot" is two words and NOT ONE, thou dumb fuck.
IV. Thou shalt indent thy freaking paragraphs and place periods at the ends of sentences (which express one complete thought or idea), for sentences are holy, and thou shall use thy COMMA and CONNECTING WORD or SEMICOLON if thou prefers to express more than one complete thought or idea.
V. Thou shalt not create Mary-Sues i.e. "perfect characters," and no, giving them dark and tragic pasts does not excuse thy Mary Sue-ness.
VI. Thou shalt remain in character, for improper characterization is an abomination, and shall be properly ranted about by I, your Mod.
VII. Thou shalt not switch tenses or points of view through out thy story, for the Lord does not wish to read fiction written by smellypants stupidheads.
VIII. Though shalt not ever describe thy female anatomy, for thou has repeatedly proven thyself incapable of doing so without sinking to the lowest level of idiocy. This rule is not debatable, and thou should be ashamed of thyself for bringing this rule about, for most of thou are female, and should probably have seen thy junk at least once, for fuck's sake.
IX. When a character is alone in a building, thou shalt never feel the need to explain the whereabouts of other inhabitants at this time, for thy story is not an alibi, and thy boring details are akin to having teeth pulled without anasthesia.
X. Thou shalt not apologize for "sucking at summaries" for the Lord hath createth thy summaries in the image of thy story. Thy summary does not suck. Thy writing sucks.
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