The time says 7:41.
So I wait and wait and wait and randomly wish a Tauntaun would wander by so I could slit its belly open and crawl into its warm body cavity whilst I wait. A futile wish; I left my lightsaber at home, anyway. Meanwhile, my feet are hardening into cold, dead lumps of flesh attached to the ends of my legs. Even my Hello Kitty shoelaces look miserable and a tad blue. Passers-by in cars spare me sad glances, as if I'm the poor little match girl, only that bitch had a leg up on me, she had fire. What do I have? Neon pink shoelaces which, upon reflection, really shouldn't have been my first "winter boot" accessory. No, my first accessory should've been... winter boots.
And now I'm here, reporting the story to you, just the way it happened!
...Okay, I'm lying. I left out the part about the troop of snow-monkeys flinging poo from the roof of the gas station across the street.
But everything else is true.
-thewriter0, in this hilarious entry.