Baby, I'm gonna do you till you can juggle. (shaysdays) wrote in metaquotes,
Baby, I'm gonna do you till you can juggle.
shaysdays
metaquotes

I type 'meatquotes' half the time myself. Yes, I'm aware.

So, for the entire Advent season, I've been wrestling with that age-old existential question, the very same that have haunted humankind for countless generations since the birth of Christ himself: just how many presents can I expect for Christmas? No, seriously. Have I been good enough this past year to warrant waking up the morning of the twenty-fifth, awash in gifts and toys handcrafted by none other than Santa's elves, swaddled in colorfully festive packaging? Or will I check my stocking Christmas day, only to find it full to the brim with Unchi-kun and friends, possibly donated for the cause by Rudolph & Co.?



Caito: Naughty or Nice? A 2007 Retrospective
Lists not in chronological order


Naughty:
  • cussed a lot
  • broke the 'g' key off my laptop keyboard, and not feeling bad about it, because I don't even like the letter 'g' all that much
  • failed to leave feedback of any kind for an ebay transaction involving a Jell-O mold shaped like the continental United States
  • played a rather good April Fool's prank on the internet that resulted in some people getting a bit tetchy
  • played a rather good just-for-the-hell-of-it prank on local folks of the gaijin and married persuasion
  • indulged in vanity, almost continually
  • indulged in snacks, also almost continually
  • stopped going to Japanese language class
  • submitted a photo of British sempai to I Can Has Cheezburger.
  • bitched about wrapping presents
  • bitched a lot in general
  • made fun of ten-year-olds in public on the internet
  • almost fought a dude this one time at karaoke
  • goofed off at work
  • embarassed my mother on multiple occasions, often intentionally
  • embarassed my sisters on multiple occasions, mostly through erratic fashion decisions
  • didn't call my mother nearly often enough while in Japan
  • stole my sister's bra and then totally claimed ignorance (in my defense, it had been intended for me to begin with
  • exposed local people to American culture
  • began drinking heavily
  • contributed to the brokedness of a karaoke machine
  • made a lot of really bad jokes
  • inspired Uncle Vernon/Dumbledore fanfiction
  • viciously butchered several languages, often simultaneously
  • temporarily kidnapped a toddler
  • unwittingly perved on a high school student
  • was not very well-behaved at various graduation ceremonies
  • pranked Craigslist with fake personals


  • Nice:
  • found a stranger's lost snowboard in the woods at Ajigasawa
  • got a bell at a parade for the most stoic toddler I'd ever met
  • embarassed my mother on multiple occasions, often intentionally
  • embarassed my sisters on multiple occasions, mostly through erratic fashion decisions
  • got all my immediate family members individual presents for the first Christmas ever, instead of, like, buying a series of popular children's/young adults books and then reading them before anyone else even gets a chance to
  • exposed local people to American culture
  • allowed ichinensei to touch me inappropriately without reciprocating in kind
  • despite threatening to, never actually resorted to violence for any reason whatsoever
  • reduced socialization during bad ladytimes so as not to inflict hormone-induced mood swings on my near and dear
  • sort of retained some morals?
  • imparted years worth of wisdom to fifth-graders
  • volunteered at a school for kids with special needs
  • got a present for a new big sister when everyone was cooing over her new baby brother
  • used the commutative property
  • lived illegally in someone's apartment for a month
  • was polite to missionaries
  • participated in environmental Earth Day activities
  • cheered for traveling teams in a sports tournament
  • made some people laugh every now and then
  • looked pimpin'
  • was awesomely cute on Halloween (mostly due to the Sugitchi bow tie)
  • was relatively well-behaved during my surgery
  • was reasonably responsible in seeking medical care in general!
  • ate my vegetables
  • resisted desserts (sometimes)
  • improved my fashion sense (I was pimpin'!)
  • taught improv to ten-year-olds who needed a self esteem boost
  • sent my brother a surprise package
  • gave blood a couple times
  • helped support local economies with my frivolous spending habits
  • coached girls to winningness in a speech contest
  • scooped roadkill out of the road into a ditch (because not even gross mama possums with many gross pink possum fetus-y babies deserve to have their remains repeatedly smushed by traffic)(also my mother told me too, so I was also obedient)
  • softened the blow of unpleasant news with glitter text
  • never actually did go to that one girl's Facebook page to make cancer jokes on her wall
  • taught a Japanese girl to headbutt dudes (good self-defense tactic!)
  • helped harvest rice
  • got my teaching certificate for elementary grades in the state of New Jersey
  • gave out lots of candy and stuff to people
  • sent (and am still sending) letters to folks on Engrishy stationery
  • helped out a lot when at home, especially when we lost trees to a thunderstorm and had to mulch them

  • Neutral:
  • consistently mistyped "google" by using too many o's
  • did not succeed in actually jump kicking anyone in the face
  • discussed female body parts kind of a lot
  • queenified wizards
  • started creating awkward situations worldwide, instead of just within the comfort of my own country
  • saw coworkers naked
  • repeatedly crashed my bicycle
  • am still functionally illiterate
  • married a tree on Facebook
  • lost a fight with a sheep
  • didn't kill anyone from my university's financial aid office
  • still uses Livejournal for blogging-type purposes
  • ironed someone else's underpants


  • callmecaito is squeeing over some packages from home.
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