Lists not in chronological order
cussed a lot broke the 'g' key off my laptop keyboard, and not feeling bad about it, because I don't even like the letter 'g' all that much failed to leave feedback of any kind for an ebay transaction involving a Jell-O mold shaped like the continental United States played a rather good April Fool's prank on the internet that resulted in some people getting a bit tetchy played a rather good just-for-the-hell-of-it prank on local folks of the gaijin and married persuasion indulged in vanity, almost continually indulged in snacks, also almost continually stopped going to Japanese language class submitted a photo of British sempai to I Can Has Cheezburger. bitched about wrapping presents bitched a lot in general made fun of ten-year-olds in public on the internet almost fought a dude this one time at karaoke goofed off at work embarassed my mother on multiple occasions, often intentionally embarassed my sisters on multiple occasions, mostly through erratic fashion decisions didn't call my mother nearly often enough while in Japan stole my sister's bra and then totally claimed ignorance (in my defense, it had been intended for me to begin with exposed local people to American culture began drinking heavily contributed to the brokedness of a karaoke machine made a lot of really bad jokes inspired Uncle Vernon/Dumbledore fanfiction viciously butchered several languages, often simultaneously temporarily kidnapped a toddler unwittingly perved on a high school student was not very well-behaved at various graduation ceremonies pranked Craigslist with fake personals
found a stranger's lost snowboard in the woods at Ajigasawa got a bell at a parade for the most stoic toddler I'd ever met embarassed my mother on multiple occasions, often intentionally embarassed my sisters on multiple occasions, mostly through erratic fashion decisions got all my immediate family members individual presents for the first Christmas ever, instead of, like, buying a series of popular children's/young adults books and then reading them before anyone else even gets a chance to exposed local people to American culture allowed ichinensei to touch me inappropriately without reciprocating in kind despite threatening to, never actually resorted to violence for any reason whatsoever reduced socialization during bad ladytimes so as not to inflict hormone-induced mood swings on my near and dear sort of retained some morals? imparted years worth of wisdom to fifth-graders volunteered at a school for kids with special needs got a present for a new big sister when everyone was cooing over her new baby brother used the commutative property lived illegally in someone's apartment for a month was polite to missionaries participated in environmental Earth Day activities cheered for traveling teams in a sports tournament made some people laugh every now and then looked pimpin' was awesomely cute on Halloween (mostly due to the Sugitchi bow tie) was relatively well-behaved during my surgery was reasonably responsible in seeking medical care in general! ate my vegetables resisted desserts (sometimes) improved my fashion sense (I was pimpin'!) taught improv to ten-year-olds who needed a self esteem boost sent my brother a surprise package gave blood a couple times helped support local economies with my frivolous spending habits coached girls to winningness in a speech contest scooped roadkill out of the road into a ditch (because not even gross mama possums with many gross pink possum fetus-y babies deserve to have their remains repeatedly smushed by traffic)(also my mother told me too, so I was also obedient) softened the blow of unpleasant news with glitter text never actually did go to that one girl's Facebook page to make cancer jokes on her wall taught a Japanese girl to headbutt dudes (good self-defense tactic!) helped harvest rice got my teaching certificate for elementary grades in the state of New Jersey gave out lots of candy and stuff to people sent (and am still sending) letters to folks on Engrishy stationery helped out a lot when at home, especially when we lost trees to a thunderstorm and had to mulch them
consistently mistyped "google" by using too many o's did not succeed in actually jump kicking anyone in the face discussed female body parts kind of a lot queenified wizards started creating awkward situations worldwide, instead of just within the comfort of my own country saw coworkers naked repeatedly crashed my bicycle am still functionally illiterate married a tree on Facebook lost a fight with a sheep didn't kill anyone from my university's financial aid office still uses Livejournal for blogging-type purposes ironed someone else's underpants
callmecaito is squeeing over some packages from home.