nocturne in black and gold (skyfalling) wrote in metaquotes,
nocturne in black and gold

bluntedge reports on the contents of her spam box.

The best part of any piece of junk mail soliciting 'enlargement' methods has to be the eye catching title. We would now like to present some recent gems for your viewing pleasure. Or to promote sales in brain bleach. One or the other.

  • Enormous monster phallus is every woman's dream!
    [This brings to mind images of Japanese tentacle porn, but we think we might have the wrong idea here.]

  • If your warrior of love is too small, you may lose this war.
    [We should pass along this message to the warmongers of the world. To win war, make love!]

  • Make it longer and more powerful with our p!ills!
    [The use of random exclamat!ons !s a good sell!ng po!nt. Makes th!ngs EXC!T!NG!!!!]

  • Intensify her sensations by increasing your love stick!
    [... love stick?]

  • Set your lassie on fire with your new giant rod!
    [Who's going to save Timmy from drowning in the well now?!?]

Context is well-hung.

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