The Bear Jew (oliveoyl) wrote in metaquotes,
The Bear Jew

I could cut for TMI, but I am having an ANGRY, BITTER UTERUS moment and instead will describe the sensation of cramping for the benefit of all you men who never get to experience the delight of owning baby-growing equipment.

Okay. Grab a soft piece of yourself. Thigh or belly or whatever. Got a good handful? Now squeeze as hard as you possibly can. Like you're trying to squeeze milk out of a turnip or make diamond by squeezing coal like Superman. And now squeeze harder. And at the same time, twist that squeezed lump of you around until your skin splits and you can wrench out a chunk of flesh.

Now imagine a couple of dozen hands doing that inside you, to your entire lower abdomen. For twenty-four to forty-eight hours without a pause. Simultaneously, sharp nails and broken glass are scraping away at your lower spine (this is brushed off as 'cramps across the back' by textbooks), you're so tired you find it hard to stand upright, and your bladder is full All. The. Time. And, depending on whether you're a tampon or a pad person, you feel as though you sat on something pointy or you're wearing a diaper.

And in twenty-eight days, you get to do it again.

Now. Go out into the world and function like a normal human being.

--hisgreyeyes, who gets quoted at a frightening rate

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