"Am I not a complete and utter SOURCE OF AMUSEMENT for THOUSANDS OF READERS all over the WORLD?! Do I not LIGHT PEOPLE'S LIVES UP with lovely OPINIONATED POSTS with AMUSING ANECDOTES?! It's APPALLING, I tell you!!!! You people SUCK. I HATE you ALL."
In the same post, different topic:
"On other matters, Mum streaked my hair last night. It looks nice. I used Herbal Essences on it but I didn't have an orgasm. I'm dissapointed. I should complain to the company."