Dear Office Professional:
In the file for "Material Submissions - Brick", you filed -- yes -- a brick. Two weeks ago, again from your jobsite, I received a binder marked "Soil Testing Results." When I opened this file, a fist-sized clod of dirt in a Zip-loc bag tumbled out as if to triumphantly declare, "We tested for soil and -- look! -- we found some!"
Given this penchant you have for literal-mindedness, you'll understand why I'm returning this box marked "Hazardous Materials Safety Data" unopened to its owner.
Amelia Bedelia, anyone?
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