Yes, I Have One (supremegoddess1) wrote in metaquotes,
Yes, I Have One

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mmm...vampire porn...

silverambz has discovered Laurell K. Hamilton's plot formulary:

1—Anita has a conversation w/ someone. Usually this takes place in her office at Animator’s Inc, but not always. This person is either a monster or someone connected with the monsters (either very pro-monster or so anti-monster they need her to kill for them). This person is worried about something having to do with a bigger monster, one of which nobody knows what it is and is scared because it’s the OMGI’VENEVERSEENAMONSTERTHATBIGINMYENTIRELIFE! Kind of monster. This lays the groundwork for the overall thing that needs to be solved by the end of the book. Despite this person coming to her for help, Anita mouths off. Although she probably takes the job. If she doesn’t, the person leaves with a threat, or looking very hurt. If she does, the person just takes it as part of her personality that she’s a bitch (which is so very true)

2—Anita then goes on about her life, figuring at least finally everything has settled down into something resembling a familiar pattern, when suddenly…

3—Out of nowhere something weird happens to Anita (don’t worry Anita, it’s just a plot point and some new awesome power you’re getting and it’s manifesting itself, although you won’t be able to control it until the end when you can finally ACCEPT it)

4—Anita freaks out and goes into denial. Along with this she either:
a—Accuses Jean-Claude of being a manipulative bastard who kept this information from her and she tries to ignore him for most of the book…


b—Accuses Richard of running from himself and not being able to deal with shit because he’s a goody two shoes whiny bitch who can’t just love her and accept her as she is (pot calling the kettle black type crap) which makes them break up YET AGAIN


c---Accuses Micah of being way too perfect for her and she just can’t understand WHY he’s so perfect for her, so she can’t trust him becaue it makes no sense to her to be in a relationship where she’s not fighting w/ someone all the time (like J-C and RZ), so she gets all suspicious about him and he has to find a way to win her trust back before the plot can move forward (which he seems to do with ease, Go Micah!)


d—Accuses Nathaniel of being too submissive and needy and she’s just not sure what to do with him because she still hasn’t figured out that she doesn’t really need to do anything extra to take care of Nathaniel other than acknowledge his presence and be grateful that he is there, and reward him with loving looks for the things he does


e---Accuses Asher of using vampire wiles on her, and then winds up totally hurting his feelings because Asher has been hurt so much that he has even more to be sensitive about than Nathaniel. So she says something nasty and they take a whole chapter or two to come to any terms, usually with J-C being the mediator and trying to bridge the gap between them


f—damn near kills Damian by negligence. Then whines about how she doesn’t understand WHY that happened and that she didn’t know. Although had she been listening to J-C in the first place and didn’t just keep accusing him of being a manipulative bastard, she’d probably be able to control the things she does to Damian.


g—Accuses the latest person who is in her circle of fuck buddies of some other negative trait the others don’t have (this person probably got added in the last book) because she still feels guilty about adding YET ANOTHER person to the circle of fuck buddies. She hurts this person’s feelings, but they stick around because they will be of some help to her in this book


h--Has an argument w/ Ronnie regarding the men in her life. She then gets all nostalgic about how they used to be such good friends but her life has gotten SO bloody that she just can't in all good conscience hang out w/ Ronnie that much anymore for fear of putting her life in danger. She also feels that Ronnie really no longer understands her because in the past few years some of her views on what constitutes being a "monster" has changed, because of all that she's been through with the people that she used to think of as "monsters"


i--Finds out that Edward is in town. At first she worries he's there to kill her or maybe someone that she considers "hers". But she relaxes just enough to tell Edward a little about what she's up to and enlist his help, which he gives freely because it means he can have fun going on a killing spree with her. She doesn't tell him anymore info than is necessary. They will part on the terms of "maybe next time I see you it will be the LAST time we see each other, but then again, maybe not, maybe it will just be another showdown between us and the bad guys. Sweet dreams."

Insert as many of the above as necessary to help the plot move forward, at least 2 of these will happen in every book, sometimes ALL of them.

5—Anita gets a call from Dolph and has to help solve a murder or some crime that is obviously preternatural or something that baffles the police. This will tie in w/ the BIG BADASS MONSTER somehow, but won’t actually directly point to that until Anita manages to talk to all of her non-human pals and ties in some of the shit that is happening with them to THIS problem.

6—Anita by accident finds someone new to add to her reportoire of people to have sex with in order to fuel her growing powers, or she find some new way to feed off people to have the same net effect. This person falls desperately for her and she tries to write them off. This person finds a way to make himself (because luckily she hasn’t so far wound up having to compromise her heterosexuality for new powers) invaluable and now indispensable to her, so by the end of the book this person is in her cache of fuck buddies. Richard finds out and gets all jealous and pissy. Jason makes a lot of innuendos and may or may not get sex as a result, but whether he does or not she doesn't really give him the bitchslap that she gives to other people.

7—Anita meets a new badass monster and befriends that person. Either this person will somehow be invaluable in killing the badass monster that the overall plot is moving towards, or this monster will betray her to that monster, because they are really secretly working for that monster but trying to gather intelligence about The Executioner and trying to find a way to kill or enlist her on their side.

8—Someone on the vampire council tries to fuck with Anita metaphysically. She falls prey to this for a short period, but suprisingly and coincidentally, her new powers that are manifesting somehow help her thwart them. She begins to accept this power at this time and probably goes to J-C to help her learn how to control it, although she’s still squeamish because she worries it might make her “evil”. If it’s not J-C then she’ll go to Marianne or possibly Richard, or the new person she’s met that is mentioned in #6 (and only then if she really has to)

9—Anita has more sex, it continues to make her powers stronger, so that she can no longer deny them. In fact if she doesn’t use them they’ll probably kill her for denying the release of the power. This power attracts the badass monster and leads them right to her.

10—Anita gets caught by the thing that has bothered the police. She uses her powers and her general knife and gun badassery to kill everyone involved (and in effect keep herself from getting killed). She either reports this to the police because there is no covering it up (in which case Dolph gets seriously pissed because he knows she’s withholding info although he can’t prove it, and he has to cover for her ass) or she hides it and finds a false trail to send the police down that helps them feel better about the whole thing at the end, becaue it gets “mystically” solved and they have nothing more to worry about. In this case Dolph, knowing Anita, gets pissed anyway because he knows she’s withholding info but can’t prove it. Still, he grudgingly just tells her how pissed he is and moves on. Meanwhile, Anita gets some kind of "Eureeka!" moment about how all this ties in w/ WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON, and then...

11—Anita meets the REALLY BIG BADASS MONSTER and has a showdown with it. In this portion she accepts the new power that she has gotten, she uses it against that monster because (conveniently through the power of the plot) it’s the only thing she can use to kill the monster. She either winds up walking away after and telling the other monsters what happened and making them feel relieved, or she winds up in the hospital from nearly dying herself while killing this monster, and wakes up to all the people that love her standing around her bed and explaining what happened while she was in a coma and what the police think and are planning to do about it. She apologizes to all the men in her life that she treated like shit because she can’t deal with the arrangement, and everything is okay.

12—Anita then tells us what happens after—where she stands with each and every man in her life, what she’s doing jobwise, what resolution the police came to regarding the crime, and what she’s doing in the meantime to really learn to control this new power that she just learned about. And then of course what she learned from this latest adventure about herself.

QWP, Context lost interest half way through the series.
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