Cut to be safe.
"I have a funnel! I was in the automotive section of the local hardware store with the S/A, when I chanced upon a rakishly-angled 'all-purpose' funnel in the oil section. Bright blue it was, 12 inches in length with a slim build, handy for those hard-to-get places under the hood.
Hoo boy, I had been looking for one of those babies since I was stuck in a long ferry lineup and tried to pee into an empty paper cup with a car full of ppl and luggage.
Seizing my prize, and with a loud "LOOKIT what I found!" I cupped it to my jeans-clad crotch with the appendage pointing out in front of me, and turned to proudly show the S/A.
The S/A was nowhere in sight, but the nice gentleman with his little boy in tow were both suitably impressed. I found the S/A one aisle over and chased him around the automotive section with it gripped between my legs, grunting like a pig to pay him back. I secretly think that this could be the reason why I am not allowed back in that store. Now I can pee into any empty container whilst in a vehicle, but more importantly, those annoying little piss-stops out in the bush are less dangerous. Any female who has drunkenly tried to piss whilst squatting and holding apparel out of the way knows what I mean. I can now just undo the button and zipper of my pants, tuck that baby in and pee against a tree. I know I know, I *am* the self-confessed QUEEN of peeing standing up, straddling the toilet bowl like a WWF wrestler squeezing the head of an opponent. And yep...I can write in cursive the amended works of Shakespeare with all the t's crossed and all the i's dotted in the snow. Mind you it takes 3 and a half city blocks.
But to do that I actually have to be nekkid, otherwise I would soil my clothes and have to sell them on Ebay. So this funnel will really come in handy."
Context can never enter that store again.