¤ And A Know-It-All Grin ¤ (kielle) wrote in metaquotes,
¤ And A Know-It-All Grin ¤

I know it's on JF, but...

In response to this thread, about providing fake bad feedback to a scam product:

When I first installed this program, all my thoughts were of lightness and joy. My neopets were healthy, my livejournal universally loved and read; my finances were untouchable, my orchids in full bloom.

Lo, one day after installing the program, not only did it uninstall Internet Explorer and reformat my harddrive, it also killed all of my neopets, deleted the livejournals of all five hundred of my closest friends, and used my credit card information to buy $33,000 worth of bondage pornography. It caused the printer to spew out mile after mile of photomanipulations of me holding large containers of suspicious powders and plant materials, with the warning message that it had faxed these images to my congressman and the FBI. Somehow, it also enticed my computer to electrically discharge thousands of volts into the surrounding plants, killing my priceless orchid collection. Attempts to uninstall were met with Satanic laughter and image files of dead puppies.

After shelling out $30 for the paid version, the situation improved somewhat; the plants entered a stage of unlife and tried to eat my brains, but at least they're green again. However, the only noticeable difference between the paid and free versions is that the paid version enabled it to somehow grow arms and legs, which it used to violently sodomize me in front of my loving wife of forty years. A call to customer service yielded only the automated message that they would get back to me when they were done dancing on the graves of my unborn children and shooting prostitutes in well-known historical landmarks.

I suggest you look elsewhere for privacy and security software.

-- backfromspace

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