"And that's why we hide the eggs: So Zombie Jesus can't find them."
"Apparently then small children are smarter than Zombie Jesus."
"Makes sense. Jesus said that to enter heaven, you must be like a child."
"That's probably your trial when you go to heaven: Find the eggs."
"Yeah. None of this 'sitting in judgement' crap. It's just Peter at a podium taking your name, and asking you 'Did you find the egg yet?'"
"You know, we never learned Peter's last name. I'll bet it's Cottontail! THAT'S IT! SAINT PETER IS THE EASTER BUNNY! So it's HIM hiding the eggs. That rascal."
"That's why we hide the eggs down here. Much harder for Zombie Jesus to find them when they're not up in heaven. Hell, why do you think he came in the first place? Not to save everyone. He just wanted to find a couple eggs because he'd been itching for an omlette since creation."
"And hon, that's why we color them: to confuse Zombie Jesus if he DOES find one. 'What? What's this blue thing?? It can't be an egg. It must be a rock.' And let's not even get into the multi-colored ones."
Context says he either needs to start finding some eggs or start packing for hell right now.