Kali (kali921) wrote in metaquotes,

The only Grindhouse review you'll ever need.

spacechild gives us his take on Tarantino's Grindhouse, managing to outdo even Neill Compston's review on Ain't It Cool:

Planet Terror is less of a commitment to pop in the dvd player as it is nonstop landmines being thrown at your face, but the landmines are hidden inside banana cream pies covered in whipped cream that Asia Argento whipped up by hand in the nude.

Whereas Death Proof is a slow build commitment, like wearing a blindfold for 45 minutes while someone tickles your taint with the dull side of that big-ass knife Rambo had, and it could easily be Betty White's older, less hot sister doing it... but then she whips the blindfold off you and its actually Natalie Portman but with bigger boobs, and she says "and you never thought i'd be this kinky, huh?" as she pulls out the Orgazmo gun and shoots you in the ass with it.

Context is insisting that Kurt Russell is still hot. Public entry, taken from comments. (Warning: minor spoilers in main post.)
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