A strange place, this. The decoration tends towards the chintzy, and pattered wallpaper on a vague-generalisations theme is everywhere you look. At the centre of the room, a Clumsy Restatement of the Essay Question holds pride of place.
>look for thesis statement
Okay, I'll humour you on this one. Where do you want to look for this 'thesis statement' of yours, in a first-year essay, in the dreaded Batch #3, written by a student whose previous two essays just scraped a pass...
>read TA contract
TA Contract, paragraph 5.2(b): "Any grumbling, weeping or tearing out of hair that is not actively homicidal in nature is considered par for the course, sucker."
>look under lampshade
Which lampshade, the fake-satin lampshade of irrelevant biographical detail or the frilly velvet lampshade of waffle?
>look for under frilly lampshade
You find a thesis statement clinging to the underside of the lampshade. It is very small and appears to be ashamed of itself.
>underline thesis statement
It looks a little bolder.
>write supportive comments in re: thesis statement in margin of essay
It begins to stand on its own two feet.
You head north.