the natural anthem (tocomfortyou) wrote in metaquotes,
the natural anthem
tocomfortyou
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The Hitchhiker's Guide to Return Of The King

teabeard is my bitch, and her review of ROTK is the best thing ever. In case all your shoes have Velcro and you haven't realized this already, SPOILERS AHOY.


Parts That Made Me Shit Myself
- uh, everything.
- and then some.
- hey, POA preview! Something wicked this way comes! *tinkly noises*
- So the oliphaunt thing actually impressed me somewhat--it really showed of Legolas' true Elvish grace and balance (like with the cave troll, but cooler, because the cave trolls look like Gollum on steroids), while being something all the guys in the theater creamed themselves over. Men and women like Legolas. God bless Orlando Bloom.
- "Goodness gracious, great balls of Faramir!" Sorry.
- "BLESS MY BARK." Treebeard, we were separated at birth.

Part That Made Me Squirt a Bit
- "My friends, you bow to no one."
Tea: *clutches Haldir* Shit. Shit. SHIT.
Haldir: *bows*
Tea: WAHHH STOP THAT
Haldir: *cackle*
Tea: *sobs Samishly*
Haldir: Tea! No! Don't go where I can't follow!
Tea: *THWACK'S GANDALF-STYLE*
Part That Made Me Gulp Loudly
- "I AM NO MAN."
Tea: *pisses self* NO! YOU'RE NOT! AND IN THAT CASE I AM *SUCH* A LESBIAN.
Haldir: *wins bet with Gimli*

Parts That Were Funny And Weren't Supposed To Be

- The Eye of Sauron. Come on. Sauron is so much more threatening in the books because at least inside the pages he doesn't have to look like a giant fiery vagina. Also, the Neon Orange Spotlight of Doome™? So not fear-inducing. It's like, it focuses on someone and you just feel compelled to freeze in place, pause, then begin crooning, "The moment I wake up.. before I put on my make-up.."

Part That Made Me Squirm
- oily Faramir. Yaarrraghghghghghhhhh. *bites finger* *makes Austin Powersish "Paaaahh!" noise*

In honor of my heightened lust for David Wenham, I made a couple of new icons. Muwahhaa. And one Big Fish. Because. Um, word to Tim and Ewan. FORTH EORLINGAS!
Haldir: Er, don't you mean.. Forth Cunnilingus?
You know me entirely too well.

-- teabeard
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