Diane (missdiane) wrote in metaquotes,
Diane
missdiane
metaquotes

Sweet sweet peppery revenge

My buddy magdollna takes care of a workplace food thief.

'After a few moments we put on the vinyl gloves and with forceps we put back the meat loaf and put the lid on. The bomb was lit.'

Revenge is a dish best served with pepper spray." bobbysan

My job has only one real flaw. We had a food bandit. I was getting pretty pissed that I would pack a lunch and find it gone. Or a bite out of it and the container set back in the fridge. We could not figure out who it was, but we knew sometime around 4-5:30 a food bandit was eating our stuff and we wanted them dead.

So, I told my sad tale of food banditry to my evil best friend Bobby and he said, "You need pepper spray." He told me to hose down a lunch and leave it for the food bandit. A lack of funds impaired our devious plan until tonight. I looked at my new work buddy N. and saw dangling from her key chain… PEPPER SPRAY.

I told her of Bobby's idea and she opened her Tupper wear and showed me her meatloaf and mashed potatoes. She said in a solemn voice, "lets get this muther."
We went out to the picnic table out back and we hose that meatloaf down. We stayed out of the wind and wore masks. We let the smell blow off a bit and we sniffed carefully. We where scared there could be a lingering peppery smell. After a few moments we put on the vinyl gloves and with forceps we put back the meat loaf and put the lid on. The bomb was lit.

She slid it in the fridge and we went to work. An hour or so passed and M the RN dashed off. He had been talking to a patient at the end of the unit. It was very close to our break room door. The door left open we heard him say, "Man you Okay? What did you eat?"
The lab courier (a collage age kid) was hanging over the sink the Tupper wear open. Gagging and he might have thrown up. He was trying to get at water from the tap.

We said we peppered the food but we never admitted to just how much and what. M didn't care. He had lost his bat shaped sugar cookie to the food bandit. His daughter who was 6 made it for him. He was not at all very sympathetic. He called the man's boss and we were promised "employee counseling" would happen. I hope that comes with a smack to the head.

Locked post QWP
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