Thank you a bunch, whoever smeared dog poop on my car window! I am so glad I got to cap off a stellar weekend by wiping shit off my car! It was extra cool that you did it last night so the poop was frozen on, too. Thanks a bunch, it was really magical. I want to punch you in your teeth.
Also now my neighbors think I am crazy and potentially threatening because as they were unsuspectingly walking their dogs, they happened across a girl in a sombrero scraping frozen crap off a car window going "Fuck this fuck this fuck this."
"HA HA, NEIGHBORS!" I wanted to say. "THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE?"
But that would have been a lie. It was pretty much exactly what it looked like.
QWP from a locked post.