Cute nerd girl for girlfriend position. Girlfriend sought for: hanging out; having a blast; spending quality time; enjoying each other's company; nerditude, geekery, and dorkocity in all forms; lots of sex. Qualified applicants must reside in the greater Western New York area, be of legal drinking age, and prefer men of the cuddly variety. Love of movies, hockey, rpgs, reading and good food a plus. Position entails dating a 25 year old poor college student. Position is entry level, but promotions to Queen of My Universe and even Wife are available. Smokers welcome, candidates with children need not apply. Applications are being accepted through the messaging system or can be forwarded to firstname.lastname@example.org. Apply today!"
QWP, as always.