The Stick Clicker (ifeedformula) wrote in metaquotes,
The Stick Clicker

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Mel's Tale of Two Hotties...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of home improvement, it was the age of plaster chips and tarps all over my damn house, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Beaded Glass Tile Details, it was the season of Water Damage Behind The Shower Wall, it was the spring of refinished screened-in porches, it was the winter of wood rot on the deck railings, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us ...

The deck guys started yesterday. Two of them, specifically. For the purposes of this story, we'll call them "Hottie" and "Lesser Hottie". Both stripped and power-washed the decks with equal enthusiasm (and all the while one-handed, using their other hands to Nextel their girlfriends, as far as I can figure), despite the rain and general gloom of the afternoon. They waved at the gathering crowd of on-lookers (specifically, a not-quite-4-year-old and two cats), and then, upon completion of their task, mounted their trusty steeds and departed for parts unknown. But just before mounting their trusty steed, Lesser Hottie arrived at the conclusion that his t-shirt was Altogether Too Grimy. Lesser Hottie decided to remove his t-shirt in my driveway. Unfortunately, and apparently unbeknownst to Lesser Hottie, his t-shirt was the only thing holding his absurdly-oversized pants in place. Ergo, upon removal of said t-shirt, Lesser Hottie found his pants falling immediately downwards, taking with them his slightly-less-absurdly-oversized boxer shorts.

Thus was there butt crack in my driveway.

Thus did Lesser Hottie moon my entire neighborhood.

Thus have I become the Crazy Lady who stares out the window at the workmen, so that I won't miss it if they happen to drop trou.
Context is getting naked on your back porch and  is always qWp.
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