amberish highlights on the windowpane (glastaigsyzygy) wrote in metaquotes,
amberish highlights on the windowpane
glastaigsyzygy
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el_em_en_oh_pee posts her Astro-Logic post number two. Involves sexuality and Arie-logic.



ARIES (which is not just ARIE with an S, even though it technically IS x.x): Straight, perhaps bi-curious, perhaps autosexual, but pretty much straight, and going for All The Hawt Chicks.

TAURUS: Bestial! xD, not really. (those kinky bastards! Shagging bulls!) but probably mostly straight, but they'd be like 0 or 6 on the Kinsey scale. Not much in between with the Taurus crowd.

GEMINI: NECRO (cause the twins switched between Olympus and the underworld every day. Sharing immortality, yknow?) Incest Honestly, who knows with these crazy gemini? Probably something squicky, that is prone to inciting conversation, though.

CANCER: "They're all stereotypical females or something" (says the believer in PMS in me, the one that doesn't exist, because they're 'moody') Man, as long as it's at HOME (but home can be anywhere xD), and as long as they're sheltered, they're fine. *COUbottoms!GH* They mother, and need it in return. No daddies need apply :|

LEO: Drama queens and kings, the lot of them. Whichever way they swing (probably both), they're bound to make it all very theatrical, with all the roses and poetry and surprise gifts and jewelry. La, fall in with a Leo, and (provided they've lots of $$$$), you'll be SPOILED cause they're into making a BIG, CANDLE-LIT DEAL out of it all. With scented oils. And creative positions. Contortionists, please! (OH and ARIE the AQUARIUS wouldn't mind one of those, either ^.^)

VIRGO: silly, they're all virgins! And mothers. Like Jesus's mum!
Honestly, though, who can tell? They're bound to be mostly straight. Unless they're not. But they're hushed up about it. And use loads of protection, whichever way.

LIBRA: Pansexual, cause everything has to be EQUAL. These are the folks who can make threesomes (and foursomes, and moresomes) work. They are also the talkers. The 'great diplomats'. The middles xD. Probly open-minded about... loads of stuff.

SCORPIO: Man, what aren't they? Stressed, perhaps. Woo.
Prone to problems, they are. And lots and lots of sex. They'd probly go for anyone/anyTHING that they wanted, especially if there's passionate hate!sex stuff involved. More likely to get into serial monogamy rather than polygamy. Intense, with loads of angsty breakups.

SAGITTARIUS: These guys don't have sex, they just cyber and are crude and vulgar and great at bachelor parties. They're all bark, no bite-- very missionary in bed, if they go that far (and at least one has, I do have a father and I am alive).
QUOTE FROM BOOK: ...not domestic, self-indulgant. So cybering is really all they need. And dirty talk ^.^ more auto than the Aries!

CAPRICORN: Prudes. Frigid, the lot of them. But very, very plentiful :\ (Re: Horn Of Plenty), and sometimes self-sufficient, not very emotional. Capricorn is an Earth sign, thus 'cold' and 'dry'. Very organized, though, if they were to have sex (most likely straight), they'd have their lubes (IF they used it) sorted by smell, texture, and... well. Use your imagination.

AQUARIUS: As per my previous entry, VERY VERY GAY. The Water-Bearer? He was Zeus's Great Gay Lover.
They don't do well as bottoms ("In personal relationships, [they] cannot be owned or possessed... [they] probably dislike sentimentality and traditional gender roles and 'games'"), and if it's a M/F couple, the F will definitely be Daddy at least some of the time. They won't use neckties, they won't shave their legs (at least, the ladies won't), and they won't get hungry at noon. Be prepared to... have fun... with an Aquarius at around 3:30 am or something, 'cause they are spontaneous and awesome like that. (Arie is an Aquarian. She can vouch for this, mostly)

PISCES: So Poseidon, who ruled over Pisces, also was the Big Dude God of Homosexuality.
It logically follows that they be gay, right?
But the book also says they are very misunderstood. So they are exactly what you don't expect them to be. (So, if you're with a Pisces, better expect them to be exactly what you don't want :| if you can handle that) Also, I've some Pisces friends who are straight, and don't want me to tell you that they're secretly gay, pleasekthankyouverymuch.


And then, with the new planet changes, there's probably UNKNOWN.

Definitely the closet!gay and closet!straight sign. :|



Context is kinky, with stars and with no Pluto. QWP from a f-locked entry.
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