ems (ems) wrote in metaquotes,
ems
ems
metaquotes

The BBC's foremost soap opera, Eastenders, marks today's anniversary in its own special way...

I've been a fan of popular British soap-opera EastEnders since the very start, in 1985...But after seeing tonight's episode, I'm sure it must have "jumped the shark" or something. I was cringing and laughing in equal measure, it was SO bad.

The DREADFUL script tried to combine a plot about Billy's reaction to his new baby (who has Down's Syndrome) with a SUBTLE MENTION (yes, that subtle) of 9/11. I'm going to try to give you an impression of how the script writer handled it:

Billy is about 30 and has just calmed down after losing his temper with an older man, a stranger, who is sharing his carriage on an Underground train. The train has been delayed for some reason and is currently standing still. Billy has been shouting with frustration and scaring other passengers too. The older man is holding a newspaper.

STRANGER: Are you OK? You're scaring people.

BILLY: Yeah, I'm OK, I'm just a bit upset.

STRANGER: You can't behave like that...Not TODAY.

BILLY: Today?

STRANGER: (Shows Billy the newspaper) Yeah, TODAY.

BILLY: (Claps hands to face) Oh, gawd...TODAY. I had no idea. I've had problems but...

STRANGER: Yeah, TODAY. It's been five years but it feels like YESTERDAY.

BILLY: Five years? Really? I didn't know what TODAY was...I didn't realise.

STRANGER: Five years ago TODAY. Those people...

BILLY: Yeah. I thought I had problems but...I remember where I was you know?

STRANGER: I remember too...Five years ago and now TODAY, it's all coming back.

BILLY: I hadn't seen a paper. I've been thinking about my baby and...It was TODAY, but I didn't know.

STRANGER: Yep. It's TODAY.

BILLY: I mean, my baby is...I just didn't know what TODAY was.

STRANGER: That's why you're upsetting people...They all know what TODAY is.

BILLY: I'm sorry. I forgot about TODAY, it only feels like YESTERDAY doesn't it?

STRANGER: I've been to my Sister In Law's inquest, she was unblocking the gutter and she fell off the roof.

BILLY: No!

STRANGER: Yes.

BILLY: My baby has Down's Syndrome.

STRANGER: No!

BILLY: Yes.

STRANGER: And we met TODAY didn't we? But it's OK, you didn't know it was TODAY.

BILLY: No, I didn't know. It puts everything into perspective doesn't it? Being TODAY, I mean.

STRANGER: Yes it does.

END OF PISS TAKE

Oh god. I mean, I may have exaggerated a BIT but it was like being repeatedly hit in the face with a wet fish. I'm sure Londoners are sad about 9/11 but in reality they didn't even make that fuss about their OWN city being blown up, the next fucking DAY. And we KNOW the episode was probably recorded last week, so all the TODAY stuff sounded even MORE fake. I'm starting to think that EastEnders is being written by fifteen year olds. Even the one we saw TODAY.


[scarletdemon | context | QWP]
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