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i finally got permission!
super sexy spike
supremegoddess1 wrote in metaquotes
mirist finds an innovative way to deal with Jehovah's Witnesses:

So, the jehovah's witnesses made the mistake of knocking on my door a few moments ago. Let me preface this tale by saying I am hungover and functioning on about 3 hours of sleep...hell, I was still probably a *bit* drunk when I woke up this morning (partying with friends, nothing juicy happened last eve, I just drank too much and I am aware of it). Anyway, I answered the door in what "clothes" I could bother to put on this morning (it is 91 degrees here, on it's way to over 100 by days end)...i.e. boy short panties and a wife beater cut off above the midriff...that used to fit, so, yeah, basically tits hanging out.

The looks on their faces were priceless. They honestly stopped, slack jawed and wide eyed, and tried to formulate words, which took a few moments. Me, being me, and hung over, and annoyed, listened to their little into speech while stretching, thus flashing even MORE tit, and looking bored. Which once again inspired really funny reactions, so I let them continue with their propaganda, nodding and staring at them, but I decided this opportunity was TOO good to pass up, so midway through their little speech I started rubbing my tits with one hand, more or less giving them the fill few of my doctor's work and I stuck the other one down the front of my panties.

SO I am standing there playing with myself and they are trying to remember what it is they are supposed to be saying...

FINALLY, as I am diddling myself at a pretty good clip and squeezing a tit, they get to the point of asking if I want their literature, I say no thank you, and close the door, and proceed to laugh my fucking ass off.

Maybe I should get a 'no solicitors" sign for my door....

QWP, in a friends-locked post, Context is the second cumming of Christ

I'm surprised she didn't look out later to find a whole gaggle of them on her lawn, praying for her soul.

....some distant relative got that reaction after telling a jehovah's witness to "Get the hell off my property."

Buahaha! Genius. And your context linktext is priceless.

I was waiting for the lightning bolt to strike me dead, but god must be sleeping...

That is so much win. I love it.

*takes notes* The Jehovah's Witnesses know me by name, I need an avoidance tactic.

Isn't there a Something Positive strip on this very thing?

Ah yes, he fapped it like a champ.

all i have to say is that if I want to get their propaganda garbage that my FIL is more than happy to send it to me.

My other half was a JW for years and finally left. He says he's never been happier. :)

While I've answered the door naked a few times, I usually didn't do anything stranger than gesture with a sword...

Once the husband answered the door with a coyotoe pelt (the head part) and a kilt, and a big war axe.....serves them right for bothering us while getting ready for a Halloween party!


A friend of mine answered the door with her very large python wrapped around her hips and arm and a dead rat in her hand. She was just about to feed him when they knocked. *Snerk* Her shirt that said "I've slept with Satan and Lucifer" didn't help much.

Satan and Lucifer were her snakes. She adopted them from a friend who couldn't care for them anymore. She gave up her walk in closet for those two. She ripped the walls out, waterproofed the whole thing and made it into a habitat for them. A friend at the local zoo helped her create it. Before she got extra bolts for the door, then would pop it open and she would wake up or come home to two largish snakes curled up on her waterbed! SO technically she HAD slept with Satan and Lucifer.

Now, if they'd been Mormons, you'd have gotten a marriage proposal instead. . . .

Nah. They'd've just made an extra effort to save her. Masturbation is a sin, after all.

Well. I'll be in the bathroom for about...... a half hour.

Is it wrong that I was not only completely amused by this, but also stupidly amused that this was the next entry on my friends' list?

That's just way too ironic.

This totally reminds me of the Something Positive comic where Davan starts bitching cause someone cut into his masturbation time (I can't find the comic it's in the archive somewhere)... and then I got the sound effect of *fwap fwap fwap* running through my head. My husband had to come into the room to see if I was ok cause I was laughing so hard! (I was laughing before the soundtrack my twisted little mind created came into play)

Girl, you are clearly going to hell.

See you there.

they have better parties anyway...