The Stick Clicker (ifeedformula) wrote in metaquotes,
The Stick Clicker

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Oh the joys of the female body...

gifteddruidess is having a problem with her inner bits:

Dear body,
I take care of you. Really. I sleep at least 6 hours every night and feed you all throughout the day, sometimes even if you don't need it. I walk and run and make other sad excuses for excersize, just for you. I shower to keep you clean and even keep your nails trimmed all neat and shortish because of work. I take cold medication when you are sick. All that jazz..

So why do you repay me by giving me THREE periods in the past MONTH. That's right, three periods in the course of 32 days. Now, dearest body, we both know that there is no 'norm' or 'average' for these things, and I understand that we are beyond even that.. but c'mon now. I know what a period is for and does.. And we both know I'm not ever gonna use any of that stuff. So why are we clockin' in overtime?

Did you decide that the previous 7 years weren't good enough? That even though you put me through puberty at age 11, you hadn't given me the full force of it? That there's a NEED to have three effin' periods in just one month? What's wrong with you?!

I'd say "You're head is so messed up!" but I AM the head. I am the head talking to you, body. And I want an explanation. Write it out while I'm asleep and dreaming if you are embarrased. Not that it matters because I know what you're doing pretty much all the time anyhow since we don't sleep walk or sleep talk. At least to my knowledge.

So uh, can you at least lighten it up? Because all three of these suckers have been medium flow and that sucks. We've got work tomorrow. And Friday. And Saturday. And Sunday. And Monday. Oh, and classes start on Monday! A VERY LONG DAY is Monday. Why do you decide now to start yet ANOTHER period course? You are so inconsiderate sometimes, I swear.

Well, all I can really say is that you had better get your act together. Lighten it up, kill it off, whatever it takes. I have all sorts of crazy weekend plans and with classes starting Monday, the last thing I need going on is worry about excuses I have to make when I can't focus because of how badly you need to pee!

*rawr bitch whine moan complain complain emo bitch emo whine rawr bitch emo whine groan complain*

Thank you, body. That is all.

Sincerely, the head.

Context is super absorbant and smells like daisies.


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