AAAAAAAGH damn damn DAMN that name coming back from the abyss of forgotten media obsessions! So they found her supposed killer... huzzah, justice has been served a big ole combo platter of goodness and all that. But I'm so sick of seeing the name "JonBenet Ramsey!" Yes, murder bad, but why the fuck have we focused on her case for endless years like a crackhead focuses on his next fix? Why her, out of all the children tragically killed, and all the children tragically killed in unsolved cases? Why must we keep lavishing attention on that face slathered in fucking creepy Tammy Fae levels of makeup that would have looked mildly skanky on an adult but like an abomination unto the lord on a goddamn six-year-old? Must CNN transform again into all JonBenet, all the time and provide us with countless interviews with her cousin's co-worker's boss' cat's groomer, which sheds absolutely zero light into the case? Must we again endure countless inane spiels from her parents, who came across as horrible, opportunistic cockroaches despite being, apparently, innocent? Why not create a goddamn JonBenet Ramsey Land... ride the thrilling "basement of murder" ride and hear how her corpse was defiled inexcruciating detail? Visit the Hall of Talking Heads, who natter on with their own theories but somehow manage to not get across why we should care this much about the case! Lounge in the Chamber of Useless Information, as our heads swell with pointless trivia about something that we have absolutely no involvement with! It may as well be, because there's going to be no escaping that china-doll head with the soul whipped out of her after oodles of hyper-competitive pageant attempts forced on her by parents wishing to live vicariously and ignore the numbing emptiness inside of them!
Original post, with apropos icon, here