Livejamie Martin (livejamie) wrote in metaquotes,
Livejamie Martin

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after my friend holly (pleadingthe5th) had the lovely experience of going to a cat show, she had some tips incase you ever want to groom, show, or sell your cat;

1. if you ever want to fluff your persian purebred, just toss her in the air like a pizza. it works miracles.
2. naked cats do not have lukemia...they are born that way.
3. don't touch the cats. no seriously. dont. touch. the. cat. every cat owner had a sign on their cats cages demanding that we not touch the cat. our two favorite signs are - 1. "your affection causes infection" and 2. "Owner psychotic, don't touch the damn cats!"
4. show cats aren't fed cat food....duh...they're fed gerber baby food.
5. If you really want your cat to do well in the prelims, get professional portraits done. We really did see this too. imagine your senior photos. great, now put fluffy where you are supposed to sit. there ya go; cat portraits.
6. you really want your cat to get as much boning as possible.
7. cats are called kittens until age two apparently. inspite of the fact that some of these "kittens" went up to my knees, and jen's waist.
8. the proper responce for any cats winning a ribbon (even if it comes in 15th out of 15) is to smile exstatically,clap, and say "yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay"
9. shrines are for the cats, not religious figures
10. most importantly, the closest resemblance you hold to your cat, the higher the placing it will get
so there you have the basics of cat showing and spectating. maybe later I'll get into explaining proper eye positioning, forehead width, and ear sizing.
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